In the 10 months since I have gotten divorced my life has spiraled totally out of control. I feel madly in love with my best friend, she was supposed to marry me. Now we are only friends again. I feel for someone else and they, after me going thee to be with them decided they'd rather stay dependent on their ex husband after all. I came from a small family to start off with, now they are all dead. I have no friends. I try to make new friends but I feel dead inside. There's someone else I am interested in but I am so bone-deep scared of being hurt and rejected again I can't even call her. I had several online friends that talked to me on messenger but most of them have even stopped. Every move or breath I make or take leaves me more and more and more isolated. I wish to God I could break this cycle.