I am not a big fan of these kind of questions, so you really don't have to answer it. I do sometimes write poetry but I know I am terrible at it, so I don't take its seriously. I wrote these poems a while ago and I am thinking about using them in my story, so I NEED to know how much they stink! Be as harsh as you can! I won't defend myself, I swear. My story is something very important to me and that is why I want this to actually be good. Or do you think I should just ask my dad to write some for me (I am sixteen) which is capable of being used in my story. EDIT: I am posting this question again because in the first one I really didn't get much CRITICISM! The Silent Afghan I have a heart that feels the pain, I have those eyes that shed a tear, I smile, I laugh, I dream, I cry, There are some people I hold dear. When terror struck my heart was shocked, Though far away, I felt your plight. You did the same in distant lands, Two wrongs I dont think make a right. \A woman with love in her eyes, A child with hopes buried in heart. They have both gone, victims of hate, Your bombs have blown my world apart. Where are the smiles? where is the joy? My world of love, where can I find. The moon has vanished behind clouds And left only the dark behind. Secret Whispers When birds twitter to the trees, And the shore talks to the seas, When sky whispers to the sun, Secrets that are shared by none, When the moon stares at the land, Moonbeams whisper to the sand. When my eyes will stare at thine, Whisper secrets into mine.